Physical Memory
by Xanthos Samurai
Summary: After a long night out, Xigbar returns to Memory's Skyscraper badly injured. What he didn't expect was that Xaldin was there waiting for him. XigbarXaldin [Yaoi, language, violence, possible sadism & masochism]


**Physical Memory**

Author: Xanthos Samurai

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi/slash – whatever floats your boat. Also coarse language, references to possible shota, references to cannibalism, mutilation and implied sadism/masochism.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. If I did, there would be a striptease command.

Feedback: Yes please! It encourages the madness.

Notes: This started out with me wanting to write Xigbar/Xaldin fluff, but it quickly turned into something darker. Xigbar and Xaldin aren't really the fluffy type anyways. They're more the profane, violent, sadistic, battle-for-sexual dominance type, aren't they? Anyways, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. They're a blast to write and getting to make up little details about their past lives is particularly fun. Hope you enjoy!

There was no marked passage of time in The World That Never Was, no day or night. Time passed and was measured only in memories and pain. But even despite this, Xaldin knew that the hour was late when he finally sensed Xigbar's return to Memory's Skyscraper.

"Back so soon?" Xaldin's voice was dry and his eyes hard. He stood in the shadows beside the entrance to the tower with his hands resting on his hips.

Xigbar straightened up and quickly shifted his weight to his right leg, even though doing so made the injured appendage scream out in protest.

"Miss me, Xaldin? I decided to call it an early night." He grinned cockily over at Xaldin's shadowy form.

"Of course not. What were you doing?" Xaldin hadn't moved, save to fold his arms across his chest.

"Getting drunk in Port Royal. Shooting Shadows. Eating people. The usual."

"You're lying."

"So are you."

Silence descended in the air and hung like a heavy chain between them. Beads of sweat gathered on the back of Xigbar's neck and trickled down his back. His ankle throbbed against the interior of his boot and a sharp pain stabbed into his left side with every breath.

"I did _not _miss you." It was Xaldin who finally broke the chain, his gruff voice scattering links of silence into oblivion. "It's impossible. Missing someone requires having a heart."

"Not really." The pain in Xigbar's body was causing him to _tremble_, but he remained standing. "The emotion's in the heart, yes, but your body can miss things too. It can grow accustomed to a certain stimuli and give the sensation of 'missing' it when the stimuli is removed. For example, you can get used to the warmth of someone sleeping beside you and your body miss it when they leave-"

The sniper's cut off his own speech as Xaldin suddenly left his post and strode over to where Xigbar was standing. Their arms found their way around one another before they had even realized what was happening. The action was strange – less a meeting of two separate beings than a rejoining of two things that had been whole to start with. Xigbar's gloved hand curled around the back of Xaldin's neck, his fingers twining themselves in the stray hairs that defied Xaldin's dreadlocks.

"What were you really doing, Xigbar?" Xaldin's face was pressed into Xigbar's leather-clad shoulder and his voice slightly muffled.

Xigbar forced himself to lean back on his right foot, even though the action made his body scream in protest against him. "I just told you. I was out at Port Royal."

"Don't lie to me. I know you too well for that. And besides," Xaldin's fingers suddenly jabbed into Xigbar's ribs, right at the center of all the pain. Xigbar hissed and tried to jerk away, but his right ankle wouldn't support his weight and he tripped. If Xaldin hadn't been holding him up by the front of his coat, the sniper would have tumbled to the ground.

"And besides," Xaldin continued, grinning at Xigbar fiercely. "You know you can't hide anything from me."

"You're a bastard." Xigbar snarled.

"You like it. How did you hurt yourself?" Xaldin jabbed his finger again into the wound. "It feels like you got shot. You probably went out to the Bastion to challenge Squall and got your ass kicked. Am I right?"

"As if I'd lose to that whiny little bitch." Xigbar hissed and tried to jerk away from Xaldin, to no avail. "Let me _go_."

"As you wish."

Xaldin released Xigbar's robes and took a step back. Off-balanced by the sudden lack of support and unable to carry his weight on his right ankle, Xigbar fell flat on his ass.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for? What the _fuck_?" Xigbar was indignant and then bewildered as Xaldin straddled and crouched on top of him. For a tense moment, Xigbar could only give Xaldin a savage one-eyed glare. And then, quite without warning, he smiled. "Well, Xally, you've got me all nice and pinned down here like a drunk Twilight Town whore. You gonna fuck me like one or not?"

"Ever the charmer." Xaldin pushed down on Xigbar's chest and started to unzip the front of his coat. "Shut up and stay still."

Curiosity made Xigbar actually listen for a change and remain motionless as Xaldin unzipped his coat, exposing Xigbar's nude body to the hips.

"Are you sure that you don't wanna fuck me?" Xigbar smirked up at him.

"How can you even think of sex when you have a hole the size of a Munny ball in your ribcage and possibly a broken ankle?" Xaldin pulled the glove off his right hand with his teeth and gently touched the edge of the wound. It was jagged and deep, but utterly bloodless. Since Nobodies had no hearts, they didn't have any blood either. Their bodies were incapable of healing themselves, so any injuries they sustained remained unless they were healed by a third party.

"Pure, unadulterated talent." Xigbar raised his head and tried to see the wound that Xaldin was touching. "Did he really get me that bad? That little bitch."

Xaldin looked up at Xigbar with emotionless deep-blue eyes. He got up off of Xigbar and stood. "So it _was_ Squall."

A feral grin distorted Xigbar's features as he laid his head back on the ground.

"Yeah… Kinda funny, isn't it? I'm the one who taught that kid how to shoot when he was just a squirt with a gunblade bigger than he was. And now look at us."

"Yeah, now he's handing your ass to you to pay you back for all the other ways you taught him how to shoot. Can you get up? You need to have those fixed immediately." Xaldin offered Xigbar a hand.

Xigbar grabbed it and pulled himself up slowly, trying not to wince. "Yeah. Good thing I have the best surgeon that Radiant Garden's ever seen as my own personal doctor."

"That was a long time ago. But maybe I still have what it takes to stitch your damn body back together." Xaldin opened a portal and pulled Xigbar into it.

Although the two of them were only in the Realm of Darkness for a matter of moments, it was too long for Xigbar to resist. Xaldin's coat was already half off when they reappeared in the infirmary of Memory's Skyscraper and Xigbar was at his throat, sinking his teeth deep into the flesh. Xaldin fisted a hand in the hair at the nape of Xigbar's neck and pulled him away as he bared his own teeth in a fierce grin.

"Enough Xigbar," he growled. "Haven't you had enough fun for one day?"

"Not with you." Xigbar let Xaldin pin him up against the wall and hold him there. The sniper leaned forward and tore a kiss from Xaldin's lips.

"You'd better behave, Xigbar. Otherwise I won't fix you back up." Xaldin twirled a finger in Xigbar's hair.

Xigbar bit Xaldin's lower lip in a half-playful, half-savage gesture. "You'll fix me back up. You want me in one piece."

"Speaking of pieces, you're in no condition to be doing this. Get on the table and lie down." Xaldin stepped away and gestured towards a stainless steel operating table.

"I see that becoming a Nobody hasn't changed what turns you on." The sniper limped over to the table, grinning nastily at Xaldin as he did so. He eased himself up onto it and lay back slowly.

Xaldin picked up a scalpel from a tray of instruments and walked calmly over to the table. He leaned his elbows on it and gazed down at Xigbar, twirling the scalpel in his fingers as he did so.

"Xigbar, do you remember the night you asked me to cut out your eye?"

Xigbar closed his remaining eye and smiled blissfully. "Mmhmm. Best night of my life. I've never had more fun."

"It was all in the name of research. Do you remember that?" Xaldin traced the dull edge of the scalpel along the rim of Xigbar's eyepatch. His deep-blue eyes were fixed on Xigbar's face, as if he were mesmerized.

"Mmhmm. Sensory deprivation. It was my idea." Xigbar opened his eye. "Why do you ask?"

Xaldin smiled. "I think it's time for more research. Now hold still, baby. This is really going to hurt."


End file.
